Pathway information is immensely useful for analyzing and interpreting large-scale omics data
Does this proposal assume that the reader is already aware of how valuable it would be to have pathways modeled and machine readable? As someone who is not familiar with this, I didn't come away with a great appreciation of the value of this proposal.
How about listing all the awesome science that your project will enable? I think we want readers thinking, "Damn, we need all pathways modeled ASAP — how can we build upon WikiPathways and accelerate this progress?"
Right. This is written to a fairly specific target audience of reviewers. The assumption is safe that with the initial paragraph they'd connect the value of the modeling to major questions being asked across almost all fields of biomedical research.
In fact, now that I've got the Summary Statement back from the review committee, I can confirm that our "significance" score was one of the best overall. The only critique in this category was from one reviewer regarding the lack of "advancing the science of crowdsourcing"... That indeed was not an aim of this proposal, but it was important to this reviewer :)
Cite this as
Jesse Spaulding, Alexander Pico (2015) How about examples of the awesome science that pathway modeling enables?. Thinklab. doi:10.15363/thinklab.d121